Too often, we’re way too harsh on ourselves. ‘You’re your own worst critic,’ as the saying goes. This impulse for self-judgment can have an accumulated negative impact, and it can also prevent us from learning and growing from our mistakes.
If a friend called you and said they were feeling down, you would instantly coach them to find the positives and see their strengths. You’d also provide them with some much-needed perspective. So the trick is turning that same impulse for external encouragement inwards and pointing out your own goodness.
Don’t worry about feeling daggy when you’re doing this, because nobody can see or hear you. My self-coaching goes something like this: ‘Don’t beat yourself up, Camplin. You’ve got a lot going on, and to be honest, most things are working out fairly well. Let’s just slow this down and work through things one step at a time.’
Another great trick for remedying the bad habit of overharsh self-criticising is to think of five positive things you did in the past day. These can be as simple and small as you need, as long as you’re recognising the efforts that you’ve made.