Skip to main content
  • Individuals
    • Individuals
    • Business
    • Adviser
    • Financial Wellbeing
    • About us
    • Contact us
    • Claims
    • AIA Vitality Member Login
  • Search
  • AIA Australia
  • Health Insurance
    • Member Benefits
    • Member Login
    • Get a quote
    • Make a claim
  • Life Insurance
    • Life Cover
    • Total and Permanent Disablement
    • Crisis Recovery
    • Income Protection Core
    • Business Expenses
    • Make a claim
    • Medix
  • Retirement & Investment
    • Guaranteed Annuities
    • Investment Growth Bond
    • Unit Prices
  • AIA Vitality
    • Partners and Rewards
    • Already a member? Login
  • Content Hub
    • Move Well
    • Plan Well
    • Eat Well
    • Think Well
  • Help & Support
    • Making a Claim
    • Forms & Documents
    • Policyholder Information
    • Complaints process
    • Contact AIA
    • Customer feedback
    • COVID-19
AIA
  • Individuals
  • Business
  • Adviser
  • Financial Wellbeing
  • About us
  • Contact us
  • Claims
  • AIA Vitality Member Login
  • Health Insurance

    Health Insurance

    Cover that protects and rewards.

    • Member Benefits

      Learn more about the range of benefits available to AIA Health Insurance members.

    • Member Login

      Existing members login here to your online account.

    • Get a quote

      Ready to get started?

    • Make a claim

      Get help with making a claim.

  • Life Insurance

    Life Insurance

    We’re here to help protect your family, your lifestyle and your future.

    For Individuals

    For Business

    • Life Cover

      Helps protect your loved ones if you are diagnosed with a terminal illness or pass away.

    • Total and Permanent Disablement

      A lump sum benefit if you can’t work due to injury or illness

    • Crisis Recovery

      Helps ease the financial burden should you suffer a traumatic event.

    • Income Protection Core

      Can provide you with a monthly income if you become disabled due to injury or illness.

    • Business Expenses

      May assist to pay expenses of your business if you cannot work due to injury or illness.

    • Make a claim

      Get help with making a claim.

    • Medix

      Personal Medical Case Management.

  • Retirement & Investment

    Retirement & Investment

    Plan for a more comfortable tomorrow.

    • Guaranteed Annuities

      Can provide you with a regular, guaranteed income stream throughout your retirement.

    • Investment Growth Bond

      Also known as an insurance bond, it offers a tax-effective way to invest for the future and is flexible enough to suit a wide range of needs.

    • Unit Prices

      Find unit prices for a range of superannuation and investment products.

  • AIA Vitality

    AIA Vitality

    AIA Vitality is a personalised, science-backed health and wellbeing program that supports you every day to make healthier lifestyle choices.

    • Partners and Rewards

      Learn more about our partners and rewards.

    • Already a member? Login

      Check your AIA Vitality Status and get access to the tools you need to help improve your health.

  • Content Hub

    Content Hub

    The AIA Vitality Content Hub is your go to for science-backed, health and wellbeing inspiration and advice.

    • Move Well

      Find your further when it comes to exercise and fitness.

    • Plan Well

      Tools and support for your future, because a good tomorrow starts today.

    • Eat Well

      Care for your body with food that makes you feel good.

    • Think Well

      Tools and information to help you cultivate a healthy frame of mind.

  • Help & Support

    Help & Support

    We strive to assist you for all your inquiries with high touch customer service.

    Contact AIA
    • Making a Claim

      Get help with making a claim.

    • Forms & Documents

      A selection of forms and other important product related documents.

    • Policyholder Information

      Useful information for policyholders.

    • Complaints process

      If you have a complaint, we'll do our best to resolve the situation.

    • Contact AIA

      How to get in contact with us.

    • Customer feedback

      Let us know how we're doing.

    • COVID-19

      How we are responding.

  • Search
  • Contact Us
    • Call Us

      Open: 8am to 6pm, AEST Mon - Fri

    • Find an adviser

Think Well
Prev | Next
Back to Top
  • {{title}}

    {{label}}
  • Alisa Camplin: Why you should be kind to yourself

    Alisa Camplin - 6 min read

    16 April 2019


    For a lot of people the urge to self-criticise is strong, but it is rarely useful. Showing kindness and compassion to yourself improves the quality of your life as well as your ability to achieve – but sometimes it’s easier said than done. Here, Alisa Camplin shares some tips on how to become your own best ally.

    Alisa Camplin: Why you should be kind to yourself

    Life is not all sunshine and rainbows. When something goes wrong in our lives, most of us will fester in the frustration and then either punish ourselves for the situation at hand, or blame someone (or something) else. The reality is that both of these responses have their limitations.

    If you opt to put the blame elsewhere and absolve yourself of any responsibility, it will possibly feel good in the short-term. However, you’re then less likely to be open to examining the reality of the situation – and that can mean missing the opportunity to learn some valuable lessons.

    Conversely, if you decide to take full responsibility for the situation, you can become overly critical and move into a space of self-loathing. If that’s the case, your perception of self and your own potential can become skewed – stifling your ability to develop through (and, ultimately, past) the event.

    Self-compassion is the middle path

    Fortunately, there’s a space between these two choices – and that’s what we refer to as self-compassion. To show compassion to yourself is the ability to appreciate your own self-worth and to genuinely care about your wellbeing in the wake of a setback. Self-compassion should not be confused with self-esteem, because self-compassion requires you to be judgement free (of yourself or anyone else), whereas self-esteem involves evaluating yourself in comparison with others.

    Make your #onechange

    Find an hour this week to sit down and write yourself a letter of gratitude that celebrates your strengths and acknowledges your limitations with kindness.

    Be your own friend

    Dr Kristin Neff, associate professor at the University of Texas at Austin, has described self-compassion as the capacity to give ourselves the same kindness and care that we’d give to a good friend. If a close person in your life came to you with a problem, how would you react? Generally, you would strive to comfort them first and then help them accept the situation. You would withhold judgement and be kind and balanced in your analysis of the events. If possible, you’d assist them in finding the silver linings of whatever has occurred – and you’d endeavour to do so with empathy and understanding. If we’re happy to show that courtesy to others, doesn’t it make sense to do the same for ourselves? In this sense, you could say that self-compassion is the purest expression of altruism because it’s the ability to show kindness to yourself without any expectation of the outcome.

    Live an authentic and evolving life

    Self-compassion is inextricably linked with the concept of cultivating a growth mindset. If you can treat yourself with kindness and understanding, you're more likely to forgive yourself as part of learning and evolving to become your best self. With forgiveness comes motivation to avoid replicating prior mistakes. Dr Jia Wei Zhang, assistant professor of experimental social psychology at the University of Memphis, has argued that self-compassion cultivates a greater sense of authenticity because it minimises negative thoughts and self-doubt while elevating emotional resilience and optimism.

    In this sense, the more you practise self-compassion the greater your connection to yourself – which, in turn, leads to a more authentic life. This is critical, because people who are in tune with themselves, tend to feel more secure and therefore freer to take strategic risks as part of discovering who they might become. They have a genuine sense of wholeness within themselves and more meaningful relationships with others. Which is surely more satisfying than pretending to be someone other than yourself or trying to live up to another person’s definition of success. Practising self-compassion as part of living true to ones-self, delivers a raft of mental health benefits and increases performance outcomes too.

    How to cultivate self-compassion.

    1. Practise basic self-care. Eat, sleep, exercise, rest and refresh consistently.

    2. Identify three things that you like about yourself.

    3. Aim to spend time around positive people. Remember, attitudes are contagious.

    4. Practise self-awareness. Recognise what triggers your unkind thoughts so you can manage them.

    5. Try new things. Be curious about yourself and your ability to grow.

    6. Remember that perfection doesn’t exist, and try to avoid judgement and comparison.

    7. Cultivate things that you’re good at and immerse yourself in your passions.

    8. Be your own cheerleader.

    9. Have people in your life that you can turn to for support when your self-compassion waivers.

    Bringing it home

    What does all of this mean in a tangible sense? Well, looking at my own life – I stop and think, “Wow, I need to be far more mindful about teaching my children the skill of being kind to themselves.” The most effective way for me to do that is to visibly model it in my own behaviour and teach by example. In stopping to consider that, I thought about the role models I had in my own life growing up. I also took the opportunity to sit Dr Kristin Neff’s self-compassion test – which, fortunately, I scored highly on.

    So where did I learn these behaviours? I think a lot of it comes back to my parents. My father is a reflective person who journals a lot. He would take the time to sit and ponder life and that undoubtedly influenced me. Growing up, he openly shared his own shortcomings and taught me that nobody is perfect, so there’s no point in judging ourselves harshly for mistakes. Instead, he showed me the great strength in finding the learnings in difficult or erroneous situations. My mother had a never-give-up attitude, and she was always encouraging me as child. Even at a young age, I could see that she was courageous in her career but she was always kind to herself and others along the way.

    Find the courage to be your own best ally

    Now, at 44-years-old, this manifests in me choosing to accept and like myself as I am. Of course I am still a life in motion, growing and maturing, and a huge part of that process is realising that our relationship with ourselves is the most important one that we’ll ever hold. You have the choice to be your own lifelong friend or an adversary. I figure there are enough enemies in the world, I should at least try to be my own best ally. I know we need many good people in our lives but, equally, I want to be comfortable in my own skin and be at peace with myself.

    It takes courage to sit and appreciate your own qualities and imperfections. When I first tried this, my reaction was, “I think I’m a good person.” Then, I stopped for a second and questioned why I had started with ‘I think,’ because that reflects a need for external validation or at least a lack of personal conviction. So, I took a breath and said to myself, “You know what, I am a good person.” Even that was more of an emotional challenge than I expected.

    Like many people, I’ve spent a long time trying to be accepted, being evaluated, and feeling judged. Now, I realise that it’s okay to have high expectations of yourself, to want to keep improving, to work with or around your limitations and importantly to be kind to yourself along the way. It’s hugely liberating to stop and say, “I like myself, and I have a place in this world with all my strengths as well as my scars.” I hope you can do the same, because it’s not daggy, it’s powerful. Self-compassion leads to greater performance outcomes as well as a healthier, longer, better life.


    Alisa Camplin

    A former world champion aerial skier, Alisa Camplin made sporting history in 2002 as the first ever Australian woman to win gold at the Winter Olympics. After 18 years as a global corporate executive, Alisa now juggles a mix of sport, business, consulting, charity and governance roles. No stranger to physical and emotional trials, Alisa runs Resilience and High Performance programs to assist others in achieving their full potential. Awarded the prestigious Order of Australia medal, Alisa is passionate about mental wellbeing and helping people thrive. The information in this article is general information only and is not intended as financial, medical, health, nutritional or other advice. You should obtain professional advice from a financial adviser or medical or health practitioner in relation to your own personal circumstances.

    Disclaimer:
    The information in this article is general information only and is not intended as financial, medical, health, nutritional, tax or other advice. It does not take into account any individual’s personal situation or needs. You should consider obtaining professional advice from a financial adviser and/or tax specialist, or medical or health practitioner, in relation to your own circumstances and before acting on this information.


    This inspirational content is brought to you by AIA Vitality

    AIA Vitality is a science-backed program that helps you learn more about your health, offers ways to improve it and motivates you with rewards along the way.

    Contact AIA

    Choose your preferred way to receive information and support

    Contact AIA

    Choose your preferred way to receive information and support

    Help and support

    Make a claim

    Frequently asked questions

    Customer feedback

    Complaints process

    Whistleblower disclosure

    Forms and documents library

    Target Market Determinations

    Explore AIA

    AIA Vitality

    Health insurance

    Life insurance

    OneLife

    About AIA

    Careers

    Our people

    Our commitments

    Media centre

    Our awards

    FSC commitment

    Help and support

    Make a claim

    Frequently asked questions

    Customer feedback

    Complaints process

    Whistleblower disclosure

    Forms and documents library

    Target Market Determinations

    explore Aia

    AIA Vitality

    Health insurance

    Life insurance

    Retirement & investment

    Content Hub

    about AIA

    Careers

    Our people

    Our commitments

    Media centre

    Our awards

    FSC commitment


    Copyright © 2021. AIA Group Limited and its subsidiaries or affiliates. All rights reserved. Priority Protection and Priority Protection for Platform Investors products are issued by AIA Australia Limited (ABN 79 004 837 861, AFSL 230043). AIA Vitality, a personalised, science-backed program that supports members every day to make healthier choices, is available with eligible products issued by AIA Australia. AIA Health with AIA Vitality is issued by AIA Health Insurance Pty Ltd ABN 32 611 323 034, a registered private health insurer governed by the Private Health Insurance Act 2007, Private Health Insurance Rules 2007 and the AIA Health Insurance Pty Ltd Fund Rules. The information on this website is current as at 1 April 2021 and may be subject to change. It is general information only and is not intended in any way to be financial, legal, tax, health, medical, nutritional or other advice. You should consider your own personal circumstances and needs and view the relevant product documents, fact sheets, fund rules and terms and conditions before making a decision to acquire such products. If necessary you should obtain professional advice from a financial, tax, medical or health professional. Unless expressly stated, any views or expressions of opinion (including any video content) do not represent the opinion of AIA.
    Terms of Use | Privacy