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{{label}}Staff writer - 6 min read
07 February 2018
If you're part of the 58 per cent of people who break their resolutions, don't give up just yet.
You jumped head first into your new year resolutions at the beginning of January, confident you were going to make a change for good. But by week two or three, you're back at work and it's much harder to go for a run, plan your meals and put away more savings. You fall back into old habits.
Most people fall off the wagon when it comes to their new year resolutions. In fact, statistics show 58 per cent of Australians break their resolutions within the year, and 15 per cent do so within the first three months.
If you're one of these people, the important thing is to not let a slip up get you down. Earlier studies also found that participants who made a resolution were 10 times as likely to have made a positive change after six months, and that slipping up actually had no impact on them achieving those goals - some people even redoubled their efforts.
So don't give up just yet. Here are some tips for restarting today.
To give yourself the best possible chance of success, make sure your resolutions are positive and have a strong 'why' behind them.
Rachel Service, founder of the Happiness Concierge, says a lot of people's resolutions can be based on "self-hate" - 'I don't like the way I look' or 'I don't like the way I do things' - and this isn't helpful.
"These resolutions are based on negatives, so every goal you create is associated with a negative view of yourself," she says. "Putting it in a positive mindset tricks your brain into thinking this is an exciting thing to do as opposed to a punishment.
"Try rephrasing it to: 'something I'm hoping to improve upon is…'; 'something I'm hoping to enjoy more is…' or 'Something I'm looking forward to learning about is…'
As well, author and life coach Dan Miller, in an article on Entrepreneur.com, recommends asking "why" you want to achieve your goal and then interrogating your answer (again with "why"), four more times. Repeating the question will help you root out the underlying reasons you may not have recognised or addressed about your goals and make them more fulfilling.
It's all about, as Chris Judd has shared with us before, setting a goal that truly serves you.
When we make a decision to make a change, our enthusiasm can get the better of us. Our overconfidence leads to unrealistic expectations, of what we can do and how quickly we can do it. This is called 'false hope syndrome', a term coined in a 2001 study. Not living up to these unrealistic expectations can be devastating for our self-confidence, causing us distress and to eventually fail.
"It can be really easy for high achievers, perfectionists and all-or-nothing type personalities - such as myself - to set really high goals and then feel disappointed when they don't come to life instantly," says Rachel. "Confidence is gained when we celebrate the smallest of wins and small wins create momentum."
The reason it's hard to get back to work after the summer break is because your brain's gotten used to relaxing. It can't go from 0 to 100 straight away. A better approach would be how can I go from zero to one, one to two and upwards. Taking it super slow."
At Happiness Concierge, Rachel uses three guiding thoughts, called her 'I Want' list, to shape people's resolutions into something more realistic: "I encourage people to think about - rather than goals - how do you want to feel, what do you want to have and what would you like to achieve?"
Make a date with yourself to answer your own 'I Want' list from the Happiness Concierge.
We live in the age of the 21-day challenge and have this picture that we can transform our lives and our bodies in this timeframe - so many ads on social media tell us just that. This number comes from a widely accepted and often misquoted idea, from the 1960s, that we can form new habits in 21 days.
A 2009 University College London study has since shown that the time needed to form a new habit is actually closer to 66 days on average, and can vary from 18 to 254 days among individuals, so it makes sense that we can't expect radical changes overnight. It's what works for you.
Most people who smoke aren't able to break the habit the first time they decide to quit (so keep that in mind if that's your goal). In fact, support services like Quit Smoking suggest thinking of previous attempts as practise and something to reflect on.
If you've slipped up on other resolutions, this is a great approach to restarting on them. Quit Smoking describe slip-ups as "part of the process" to long-lasting success and suggest learning from past attempts. Thinking about what worked for you and what tripped you up in the past will arm you with more tools for doing better next time.
To show people we care about them, we give them our time and attention - and we can show ourselves self-care by doing the same thing.
Speaking to the podcast Call Your Girlfriend, Sabrina Hersi Issa, CEO of Be Bold Media, says she schedules "a personal inventory day" once a month, recurring on the date of her birthday (eg. The 16th of every month). She writes down all her errands to be done that day - like booking a doctor's appointment - as well as setting aside time to reflect on goals and deeper questions. Such as: 'what did I learn this month?' and 'who am I grateful for?'
Scott Pape, the financial expert and author of The Barefoot Investor, also recommends weekly 'date nights' to get your finances in order. He includes it in his road map for tackling debts, sorting out your super and increasing savings.
When you're kicking goals, even little ones, give yourself a cheer. Every step forward is a positive one. As Rachel says, "the thing you're chasing is that feeling of wins or feeling of achievement."
"You grow in your confidence and momentum when you celebrate the smallest of wins. Equally important is identifying 'when am I going to pat myself on the back' and 'when am I going to celebrate my mini-goals?' Telling somebody else about it, or doing your 'I Want' list with somebody else is a great way to get other people to congratulate you."
In the end, remember that goal-setting doesn't happen once a year, it happens every day. "Every day, think 'what do I want to achieve today?'" Says Rachel. "If it does happen, celebrate, and it doesn't, the world isn't ending, nobody died, so start again tomorrow. You're not a failure as a person. Give yourself a break."
Rachel Service, The Happiness Concierge, 'I Want' List
Ask yourself:
For example, Rachel says this year she wants to feel energised and she wants to do activities or hobbies outside of work. "For an activity to energise me, well it's as simple Googling a dance class" says Rachel. "I'm sure I could learn how to do a Beyoncé hip hop class somewhere for the next few weeks."
For more info on the 'I Want' list, head here.
Staff writers come from a range of backgrounds including health, wellbeing, music, tech, culture and the arts. They spend their time researching the latest data and trends in the health market to deliver up-to-date information, helping everyday Australians live healthier lives. This is general information only and is not intended as medical, health, nutritional or other advice. You should obtain professional advice from a medical or health practitioner in relation to your own personal circumstances. The information in this article is general information only and is not intended as medical, health, nutritional or other advice. You should obtain professional advice from a medical or health practitioner in relation to your own personal circumstances.
Disclaimer:
The information in this article is general information only and is not intended as financial, medical, health, nutritional, tax or other advice. It does not take into account any individual’s personal situation or needs. You should consider obtaining professional advice from a financial adviser and/or tax specialist, or medical or health practitioner, in relation to your own circumstances and before acting on this information.
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