We don’t abolish negative thoughts: instead, we replace them. We never ‘rid’ ourselves of our inner critic. Rather, we build new thought processes to manage these thoughts when they arise.
Actively reframing our thoughts helps us differentiate between a helpful thought and an unhelpful one. A Harvard Business Review study found people who reframed ‘I’m nervous’ to ‘I’m excited’ performed better at maths tests, public speaking and even karaoke. Why? Anxiety and excitement are both states of arousal, and reframing a fear into an action helps to take positive action.
Having belief in yourself is the most impactful way to influence your own behaviours and enable you to achieve your goals.
The loop we teach audiences in our ‘Overcome Your Inner Impostor and Work with Your Inner Critic’ training sessions at Happiness Concierge comprises four elements: Thought (I’m not good enough), Need (validation, support, reassurance), Behaviour (avoidance, negative self-talk) and Feeling (comfort zone / learning zone).
We can only mitigate unhelpful behaviours if we become aware of when we are acting in ways that are against our best interests, and have the support to succeed.